


Dream a Little Dream of Me

by polverine



Series: After Azkaban [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Book 3: Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-16
Updated: 2020-06-16
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:34:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24758641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/polverine/pseuds/polverine
Summary: Just hold me tight and tell me you'll miss me- Dream a Little Dream of Me, by Gus KahnWhile on the run after escaping from Azkaban, Sirius dreams of Marlene.
Relationships: Sirius Black & Harry Potter, Sirius Black/Marlene McKinnon
Series: After Azkaban [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1790506
Comments: 6
Kudos: 16





	Dream a Little Dream of Me

Sirius waited until he was right on the doorstep of twelve Grimmauld Place before transforming back into himself. It was the dead of night but he didn’t want to risk it. There was a nagging feeling in the back of his mind. He shouldn’t be here. There was something else he was supposed to be doing. A horrible feeling like he was forgetting something immensely important. He lit the lamps along the hallway walls — though he couldn’t remember acquiring back his wand, and this was definitely _his_ wand. Aside from the thick dust, and the stink of decay, the place was just as it had been when he was a child. Silence pressed in on him. Creeping into his bones and filling his lungs, a silence so loud and violent that he was sure that even if he spoke it would be noiseless. He didn’t know why he had come back here, he couldn’t recall making the decision, couldn’t even recall the journey. He moved further into the house, and caught sight of his reflection in the mirror. If he didn’t know it was he who was looking back, he wouldn’t have recognised himself. His face was sunken, waxy, and skeletal. His filthy hair was at his elbows. He barely looked human. Sirius turned at movement on the stairs.

_Marlene._

She was radiant. Her smile lit the whole room, every bit of her — from her long blonde hair to her painted toenails — seemed to exude joy. Warmth spread from where she stood, travelling along the walls, across the floor, up through his feet and into his heart; as though she were the complete opposite of a Dementor.

“Sirius.” She beamed, he thought his knees might buckle at any second. She didn’t look like she’d aged a day in twelve years. 

“Marley?” He asked, hardly daring to let himself believe. And then she was running down the staircase. She threw herself into his arms. He caught her and they stumbled back against the closed front door. He held onto her tighter than he ever had is his life. “How are you h—” He broke off, he didn’t care, it didn’t matter. Nothing in the world mattered anymore.

“I know you’re innocent. I never doubted it for a second.” She breathed against his skin, tears rolled down his cheeks and into her hair. She unhooked her long legs from around his thin waist and dropped back to the floor, cupping his face with her hand. He wanted to turn away…she shouldn’t have to see him like this, he’d been so handsome before Azkaban…but to do so would mean looking away from her and he didn’t have strength enough for that. “My brave and beautiful man.” She whispered, trying to wipe away his tears, her own eyes shining.

“I love you.” He choked his voice was so hoarse from lack of use…he hadn’t told her enough before. 

“I hate you too, Sirius Black.” She smiled. He felt fresh tears spilling out and he laughed. He hadn’t laughed in twelve years. “Come with me.” She said, taking his hand. He looked down at their entwined fingers. The engagement ring he’d never gotten the chance to give her sparkled up at him in the lamp light. She had died before he’d had chance to ask her. 

None of this was real. 

Sirius woke with a start, his face soaking wet with tears. He held his breath, the Shrieking Shack was still silent. He sat up in the bed, it was foolish but he’d just wanted to sleep in a proper bed, as a human, just once, just for one night…and this was the best he’d been able to come up with. Closing his eyes he clung onto that beautiful dream, he didn’t want to lose a single detail. It had been so long since he’d seen her, since he’d held her. And it had been _so vivid_. He could still feel Marlene’s legs around his waist, still feel her hand on his cheek. He would have happily lived in that dream for the rest of his miserable existence.

_Harry._

The thought of his godson brought him crashing back to reality. Harry was up in the castle, so close to Peter…too close to Peter. Harry had no idea the danger he was in, he had to protect him, he was the only person in the whole world who knew the truth. He’d promised Lily and James that he would keep him safe…he’d let them down already, he couldn’t do so again. 

It was Hallowe'en, he’d stolen a paper and had been keeping track of the date. He’d use the feast as cover, Gryffindor Tower would be empty. It wasn’t worth risking breaking into Filch’s office to try and steal back the map, but he could definitely use it right about now. For a wild, insane moment he considered summoning it. Then he remembered that it had only been in his dream that he’d had a wand.

_Marlene._

He wanted to join her. He wanted to dig up her grave and bury himself alongside her and the future that they never got to have. Or else live in that glorious, shining dreamworld forever. It felt like his heart was breaking in two. Harry or Marlene…

“She’s dead.” He said into the darkness, his croaky voice breaking. “She’s dead and Harry is alive, and in danger, and he needs you.” 

It was Hallowe'en. His stomach turned over at the thought. He’d been so intent on planning his attack that he’d been blind to it. His hands shook on the dusty bedcovers. It was Hallowe'en. Dates had been hard in Azkaban, he’d lost track after a while. 

He missed them more than he could stand.

Did Harry know what today was? Had Lily’s blasted sister bothered to tell him?

It was fitting, he thought, getting to his feet and turning back into the dog, that he would kill Peter tonight, on the anniversary of James and Lily’s deaths.


End file.
